Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!!!
'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
George Santayana
It's NOT just our national or world history, it's family, friends,
and experiences. We should never let go of our past, our heritage, our
family, or our memories; both good and bad. They are what makes us who
we are today. I would be a strange blank canvas if all I did and all I
knew was erased. Why ask me to erase parts of my life in favor of some psychological theory that I will be a BETTER person because I have forgotten things and thrown memories away????
Remember the Holocaust!
Remember the Alamo!
Never forget Virginia Tech!
American Genocide 1915 Never Again!
Operation Fever Forget our Fallen Hero's!
Never forget 9-11!
In the early 1930s Germany was a democracy and out of money. The Great Depression and restitution payments to France and England from WWI meant the government was out of money. The only way it could pay its bills was to print more money. But each time they printed that made the German mark worth less so they just printed more. Eventually it took a basket full of marks to buy a loaf of bread. With both depression and inflation running wild savings were worthless and unemployment soared. Even the richest industrialists began to suffer. Desperate for a savior, the Germans elected a strong leader who promised to change everything... Adolf Hitler.
President Herbert Hoover had been a successful engineer and Republican. He personally helped thousands of Americans to escape Europe when WWI broke out. Hoover believed in business, not government, so when the stock market crashed in 1929 he felt that it was not the government's job to restore the economy. His government did little and the result of that was The Great Depression. The opinion of the millions of unemployed and homeless gathered in shanty towns made of clap board and primitive tents of this was obvious. They called their settlements "Hoovervilles". Promising to do Something, Franklin Roosevelt swept the 1932 Presidential election.
FDR was winning the economic battle. From 1933 to 1937 unemployment fell from 25% to 14%. Feeling the nation had permanently turned the corner on Depression, the up for election Congress in 1936 voted a popular bonus to veterans (over FDR's veto) and the Federal Reserve stopped giving a priority to boosting growth. Then in 1937 that era's stimulus program expired, raising taxes on all businesses and investment. It also seemed like a good time to implement an expensive, new social program. So they began gathering Social Security taxes, lowering everyone's paycheck. Within a year the "Depression with the Depression" had begun with unemployment rising to 19% and the economy again shrinking. Only WWII reversed the downward trend.
Also: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/holocaust-memorial-day-2016-10-reasons-its-essential-we-never-forget-this-uniquely-evil-event-1540238
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
I don't believe in forgiveness!
What I see are people trying desperately to feel better, in the aftermath of terrible wrongs, of unfair treatment, of unearned slights, and horrific tragedy. I see people not doing ANYTHING to right these wrongs, to protest these slights, to heal these tragedies. Except, of course, to parrot, “forgiveness” that everyone around seems so comfortable with.
I hold people accountable. I work for justice in my own little corner of the world. If someone hurts me on purpose, I am angry. And, I stay that way.
Guess what? It doesn’t control my life.
I am not angry every day (after all, they are no longer in my life!). Although, I am angry when I think of the occasion or the person(s). I believe that this keeps me of slipping into relationships and behaviors not appropriate for someone with a healthy self-image. I don’t “rot”.
It’s not easy. Everyone else likes it when you “forgive”. But if you want me to “forgive” for myself, well, I’ll pass. I am fine how I am – and this is real smile on my face.
FROM: http://thoughtcatalog.com/robin-goode/2014/04/i-dont-believe-in-forgiveness-and-neither-should-you/
Frankly, though, the ‘forgetting’ part is sort of throw-away. You should never forget the wrongs done to you. Why would you want to? Forgiving, though, is another thing entirely. When somebody wrongs us, negative emotions can eat away at us. If we let go of our anger and resentment, we experience healing and reconciliation.
One could, I suppose, think that there are times and situations when forgiveness just isn’t called for. Suppose somebody does some terrible wrong to me and is totally unrepentant. It’s not at all clear that I should forgive them.
On the other hand, you could think that when you forgive, you shouldn’t do it for the sake of the wrong-doer. Rather, you should do it for your own sake, for the sake of your own mental health.
Of course, letting go of one’s anger and moving on won’t do you any good if the person is just going to turn around and do it again. And you could think that unless the person does something to really deserve forgiveness, you’d be a fool to forgive.
Even if you think forgiveness is all about what’s best for the forgiver and not at all about the forgiven, you can still think that there are times when one shouldn’t forgive -- without assuming the wrong-doer can ever deserve forgiveness. Forgiving a foreseeably repeat offender is a case in point. At least part of me thinks that there is nothing a person can do to “deserve” forgiveness. Forgiveness is always gift. It has to be freely given. We’re never morally required to forgive.
But the following thought still gives me pause. Imagine a person who is fully repentant for a wrong done. They’ve resolved never do it again. They’ve done everything possible to make up for their transgression. Why wouldn’t you forgive such a person?
My imagined resister to this line also thinks not. He will dig in his heels here and insist that while being unable to forgive might be some kind of psychological failing, it’s not a moral failing. He will grant that getting to the point of forgiveness can be really hard, even when you think it would be a good thing to do. If you can’t get there on your own, then maybe you need the help of a therapist. But the crucial point for him is that we don’t blame people who can’t forgive, we console them.
FROM: http://philosophytalk.org/community/blog/ken-taylor/2015/04/forgive-and-forget
I hold people accountable. I work for justice in my own little corner of the world. If someone hurts me on purpose, I am angry. And, I stay that way.
Guess what? It doesn’t control my life.
I am not angry every day (after all, they are no longer in my life!). Although, I am angry when I think of the occasion or the person(s). I believe that this keeps me of slipping into relationships and behaviors not appropriate for someone with a healthy self-image. I don’t “rot”.
It’s not easy. Everyone else likes it when you “forgive”. But if you want me to “forgive” for myself, well, I’ll pass. I am fine how I am – and this is real smile on my face.
FROM: http://thoughtcatalog.com/robin-goode/2014/04/i-dont-believe-in-forgiveness-and-neither-should-you/
Frankly, though, the ‘forgetting’ part is sort of throw-away. You should never forget the wrongs done to you. Why would you want to? Forgiving, though, is another thing entirely. When somebody wrongs us, negative emotions can eat away at us. If we let go of our anger and resentment, we experience healing and reconciliation.
One could, I suppose, think that there are times and situations when forgiveness just isn’t called for. Suppose somebody does some terrible wrong to me and is totally unrepentant. It’s not at all clear that I should forgive them.
On the other hand, you could think that when you forgive, you shouldn’t do it for the sake of the wrong-doer. Rather, you should do it for your own sake, for the sake of your own mental health.
Of course, letting go of one’s anger and moving on won’t do you any good if the person is just going to turn around and do it again. And you could think that unless the person does something to really deserve forgiveness, you’d be a fool to forgive.
Even if you think forgiveness is all about what’s best for the forgiver and not at all about the forgiven, you can still think that there are times when one shouldn’t forgive -- without assuming the wrong-doer can ever deserve forgiveness. Forgiving a foreseeably repeat offender is a case in point. At least part of me thinks that there is nothing a person can do to “deserve” forgiveness. Forgiveness is always gift. It has to be freely given. We’re never morally required to forgive.
But the following thought still gives me pause. Imagine a person who is fully repentant for a wrong done. They’ve resolved never do it again. They’ve done everything possible to make up for their transgression. Why wouldn’t you forgive such a person?
My imagined resister to this line also thinks not. He will dig in his heels here and insist that while being unable to forgive might be some kind of psychological failing, it’s not a moral failing. He will grant that getting to the point of forgiveness can be really hard, even when you think it would be a good thing to do. If you can’t get there on your own, then maybe you need the help of a therapist. But the crucial point for him is that we don’t blame people who can’t forgive, we console them.
FROM: http://philosophytalk.org/community/blog/ken-taylor/2015/04/forgive-and-forget
I'm tired of people telling me to "let it go"!
What is the big deal? Why should I forget? Why should I forgive? Why should I throw stuff away? Why should I give it all away and buy "new" stuff when I need it when the new stuff is garbage and my stuff and my grandmother's stuff is still working? I can never replace my cast iron waffle iron or my grandmother's blender. I can never replace the dolls and camera's that belonged to my family. My husband can never replace the Volkswagen motor he has. We can't replace the old Time, Look, and Life magazines from the 1950's. You can't replace the movie tickets, travel brochures, or postcards from trips gone by. You might say "take a picture" but then that's another organization nightmare.
From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201410/when-you-should-and-should-not-forgive
For all that we culturally admire the ability to forgive—it’s associated with magnanimity, spiritual growth, and, of course, religiosity—it remains a somewhat thorny issue from a psychological point of view. In layman’s terms, the ability to forgive is widely seen as evidence of how high humans rank in the chain of being—animals don’t forgive, after all—so it conveys a moral superiority. But from a psychological point of view, two key questions remain: Why do humans forgive and, when they do, how do they hope to benefit?
As Frank Fincham wrote in an article with arguably the best image and title ever—“The Kiss of the Porcupines”—the human conundrum is that we need and want closeness and intimacy, but that need simultaneously leaves us vulnerable to being hurt, disappointed, and even betrayed by those closest to us. If it weren’t for "the quill problem"—in Fincham’s metaphor, two porcupines cuddle to stay warm, getting closer and closer, until a quill pierces skin and they have to withdraw—there’d be no need for forgiveness.
It’s all sobering, and true. And while it’s nice to echo the words of Alexander Pope—“To err is human; to forgive, divine”—it may not be universally applicable. You can’t reap the fruits of forgiveness alone; you need the cooperation, loyalty, and intent of the porcupine who stabbed you in the first place. On the other hand, forgiving someone whom you’re showing the door will most probably set you free.
From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/disturbed/201208/why-you-dont-always-have-forgive
With time, you come to realize that you are moving forward, and it is usually at this point that someone will ask about forgiveness. At some point in your grieving process, someone, somewhere, will ask you if you forgive. Do you forgive your father or mother? Could you forgive your spouse? Many religions and therapies focus on forgiving a perpetrator so that the victim can ‘move on.’ The goal is to make sure that the victim does not become fixated on the hurt. This element is critical because if you become completely obsessed with your victimization, you will not be able to function. That is a fact. Fixating freezes you.
It may be surprising to learn how many people will pressure survivors to forgive a perpetrator. Family members tell them that if they don’t forgive, then they are going to Hell. In some cases, I’ve seen families turn their backs on victims of sexual abuse because the victims wouldn’t go along with the program and keep their mouths shut. They are told to forgive their attackers and let it go. If they cannot do so, then they are banished from the family unit. I’ve also seen women who stand up to their abusive lovers only to be eventually cut off by their children because they won’t simply forgive and let bygones be bygones. When they say they forgave and are moving on, they are accused of dredging up the past should they speak out, so back to isolation they go.
From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201410/when-you-should-and-should-not-forgive
For all that we culturally admire the ability to forgive—it’s associated with magnanimity, spiritual growth, and, of course, religiosity—it remains a somewhat thorny issue from a psychological point of view. In layman’s terms, the ability to forgive is widely seen as evidence of how high humans rank in the chain of being—animals don’t forgive, after all—so it conveys a moral superiority. But from a psychological point of view, two key questions remain: Why do humans forgive and, when they do, how do they hope to benefit?
As Frank Fincham wrote in an article with arguably the best image and title ever—“The Kiss of the Porcupines”—the human conundrum is that we need and want closeness and intimacy, but that need simultaneously leaves us vulnerable to being hurt, disappointed, and even betrayed by those closest to us. If it weren’t for "the quill problem"—in Fincham’s metaphor, two porcupines cuddle to stay warm, getting closer and closer, until a quill pierces skin and they have to withdraw—there’d be no need for forgiveness.
It’s all sobering, and true. And while it’s nice to echo the words of Alexander Pope—“To err is human; to forgive, divine”—it may not be universally applicable. You can’t reap the fruits of forgiveness alone; you need the cooperation, loyalty, and intent of the porcupine who stabbed you in the first place. On the other hand, forgiving someone whom you’re showing the door will most probably set you free.
From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/disturbed/201208/why-you-dont-always-have-forgive
With time, you come to realize that you are moving forward, and it is usually at this point that someone will ask about forgiveness. At some point in your grieving process, someone, somewhere, will ask you if you forgive. Do you forgive your father or mother? Could you forgive your spouse? Many religions and therapies focus on forgiving a perpetrator so that the victim can ‘move on.’ The goal is to make sure that the victim does not become fixated on the hurt. This element is critical because if you become completely obsessed with your victimization, you will not be able to function. That is a fact. Fixating freezes you.
It may be surprising to learn how many people will pressure survivors to forgive a perpetrator. Family members tell them that if they don’t forgive, then they are going to Hell. In some cases, I’ve seen families turn their backs on victims of sexual abuse because the victims wouldn’t go along with the program and keep their mouths shut. They are told to forgive their attackers and let it go. If they cannot do so, then they are banished from the family unit. I’ve also seen women who stand up to their abusive lovers only to be eventually cut off by their children because they won’t simply forgive and let bygones be bygones. When they say they forgave and are moving on, they are accused of dredging up the past should they speak out, so back to isolation they go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)