My Idea of "my" forest

 

My Fear

I had a bad night Tuesday night.  I felt the need to call my son to take me to the ER. On Thursday I was able to relate the fear that I felt and what it did to me. on the way home, pain was also in with the fear. I'm so confused... why am I scared to death (and I mean I'm scared out of my wits) when I can't breathe?

I am afraid ALL the time; that I won't be able to breathe, that I'm going to die right now (right this second),  that I won't be able to drive, that I won't be able to pay my bills with my non-existent pay check, or that I won't be able to tolerate my pain. My normal level of stress is "fear". I am hardly ever comfortable about my situation.

Now for the positive; I don't take my Christmas lights or tree down, they are up all year and I love them, my library is in the works finally, and I am SO grateful for that. I am grateful for my dedicated fur babies, especially Boots who cuddles with me ALL the time. There are times I don't move because she is sleeping next to me!

My therapist ask me what my fear looked like on Tuesday. I found a good picture for my fear.

More later...