Schrodinger's Cat

This is from 100 years ago.... are we really moving forward??
The physicist Pascual Jordan, who worked with quantum guru Niels Bohr in Copenhagen in the 1920s, put it like this: "observations not only disturb what has to be measured, they produce it… We compel [a quantum particle] to assume a definite position." In other words, Jordan said, "we ourselves produce the results of measurements."

Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935, though the idea originated from Albert Einstein. It illustrates what he saw as the problem of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics applied to everyday objects.

The human mind and quantum physics

This is from an old post by Philip Ball, 16 February 2017. Almost three years.
But I think the article makes some valid points

Beginning of post:
The American physicist Richard Feynman said this about the notorious puzzles and paradoxes of quantum mechanics, the theory physicists use to describe the tiniest objects in the Universe. But he might as well have been talking about the equally knotty problem of consciousness.

Some scientists think we already understand what consciousness is, or that it is a mere illusion. But many others feel we have not grasped where consciousness comes from at all.

For one thing, the mind seemed, to the great discomfort of physicists, to force its way into early quantum theory. What's more, quantum computers are predicted to be capable of accomplishing things ordinary computers cannot, which reminds us of how our brains can achieve things that are still beyond artificial intelligence. "Quantum consciousness" is widely derided as mystical woo, but it just will not go away.

Quantum mechanics is the best theory we have for describing the world at the nuts-and-bolts level of atoms and subatomic particles. Perhaps the most renowned of its mysteries is the fact that the outcome of a quantum experiment can change depending on whether or not we choose to measure some property of the particles involved.

When this "observer effect" was first noticed by the early pioneers of quantum theory, they were deeply troubled. It seemed to undermine the basic assumption behind all science: that there is an objective world out there, irrespective of us. If the way the world behaves depends on how – or if – we look at it, what can "reality" really mean?

Today some physicists suspect that, whether or not consciousness influences quantum mechanics, it might in fact arise because of it. They think that quantum theory might be needed to fully understand how the brain works.

Might it be that, just as quantum objects can apparently be in two places at once, so a quantum brain can hold onto two mutually-exclusive ideas at the same time?

These ideas are speculative, and it may turn out that quantum physics has no fundamental role either for or in the workings of the mind. But if nothing else, these possibilities show just how strangely quantum theory forces us to think.

From: http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20170215-the-strange-link-between-the-human-mind-and-quantum-physics

None of us get out of being human alive!

It looks like it's been a LONG time since I have added to my Blogger posts.
It has been a rough year!! I got sick in 2018 and sicker in 2019. I have been diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer, they say I have two to five years. It has almost been a year already and I am no where nearer being ready to go than I was in February this year.
Any way, I am trying to sort through my papers and belongings so my kids and my husband don't have to when I am gone.
Peace be with you all!

THE MAN IN THE ARENA

Excerpt from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic
delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910
                                       

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. 

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.


http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html

Pecha Kucha

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

•     What is PechaKucha 20x20?

    PechaKucha 20x20 is a simple presentation format where you show 20 images, each for 20 seconds. The images advance automatically and you talk along to the images.

•     Who invented the format?

    The presentation format was devised by Astrid Klein and Mark Dytham of Klein Dytham architecture. The first PechaKucha Night was held in Tokyo in their gallery/lounge/bar/club/creative kitchen, SuperDeluxe, in February, 2003. Klein Dytham architecture still organize and support the global PechaKucha Night network and organize PechaKucha Night Tokyo.

•     Why invent this format?

    Because architects talk too much! Give a microphone and some images to an architect -- or most creative people for that matter -- and they'll go on forever! Give PowerPoint to anyone else and they have the same problem.

•     What are PechaKucha Nights?

    PechaKucha Nights are informal and fun gatherings where creative people get together and share their ideas, works, thoughts, holiday snaps -- just about anything, really -- in the PechaKucha 20x20 format. Every PechaKucha Night city is hosted by a local organiser, who has an annual Handshake Agreement with PechaKucha HQ to run their event series. This ensures that each PechaKucha Night is relevant to their city- and can create a unique platform to uncover that city's creativity.

•     Why have PechaKucha Nights gone viral globally?

    With PechaKucha Nights now happening in over 900 cities around the world, we have discovered that most cities -- not just Tokyo -- have virtually no public spaces where people can show and share their work in a relaxed way. If you have just graduated from college and finished your first project in the real world, where can you show it? It probably won't get into a magazine, and you don't have enough photos for a gallery show or a lecture, but PechaKucha is the perfect platform to show and share your work.

•     Where are PechaKucha Nights held?

    PechaKucha Nights are mostly held in fun spaces with a bar, similar to the home of PechaKucha Night, SuperDeluxe, which is a space for “thinking and drinking.” To date, PechaKucha Nights have been held in bars, restaurants, clubs, beer gardens, homes, studios, universities, churches, prisons (disused), beaches, swimming pools, even a quarry!

•     Who can present?

    Anyone can present -- this is the beauty of PechaKucha Nights. Astrid's daughter presented when she was 5 (about her artwork) and Mark's mother presented when she was 69 (about her elaborate wedding cake creations).

•     What can people present?

    The key to a great presentation is to present something you love. Most people use PechaKucha Night to present their latest creative projects or work. Some people share their passion and show their prized collection of Nana Mouskouri records, while others share photos of their latest visit to a construction site or their recent holiday snaps. We always recommend people go and see a PechaKucha Night before they ask to present to get a good feel for what it's all about.

•     What makes a good PechaKucha?

    Good PechaKucha presentations are the ones that uncover the unexpected -- unexpected talent, unexpected ideas. Some PechaKuchas tell great stories about a project or a trip. Some are incredibly personal, some are incredibly funny, but all are very different, and they turn each PechaKucha Night into “a box of chocolates.”

•     What if I'm not able to attend a PechaKucha Night?

    If you're in an area with no regular PechaKucha Night series, or if you’d just like to get a feel for what people are presenting around the world, then you can go to the Presentations section of this site, and watch presentation from PKNs worldwide.

•     Who runs PechaKucha Nights?

    Each PechaKucha Night is run by a city organizer. They are more like stewards, who look after the PechaKucha spirit in each city. All PKN organizers must have a regular day job and they run PechaKucha Nights only for the inspiration, love, and fun of it. They mostly come from the creative fields. The PKN organizer is usually supported by a big team of volunteers -- when it comes to putting on a PechaKucha Night, the more helping hands the better. The global PechaKucha network is organized and supported by Klein Dytham architecture.

•     How can I run a PechaKucha Night?

    We have never asked anyone to run a PechaKucha Night, people ask us. We only planned this as a one-off event, but then people asked us to run it again -- and again - and we were 3 years and 30 events into it, just in Tokyo, before people started thinking it would be cool to have one in their city. Check to see if there is one in your city first. If not, and you think you have what it takes to run one in your city, you can get in touch for more details.

•     What’s a PechaKucha Night handshake agreement?

    We have a very simple “handshake” agreement with each city, mostly to ensure there is only one event series per city and that people are not treading on one another's toes or pulling the rug out from under their feet. PechaKucha Nights take quite a bit of organizing, and the more networks the better so we think it is better for cities to focus on one event. We run an event every month in Tokyo, and believe us, it is quite an undertaking! The “handshake” agreements are free, and renewed each year. Cities must organize a minimum of 4 events a year to qualify as an active city.

•     Why is PechaKucha Night trademarked?

    PechaKucha Night is trademarked to protect all the effort and hard work of our PKN city organizers and network. PechaKucha Night is for CONTENT and not profit.

•     Who pays to support the network?

    PechaKucha was devised and shared by Astrid Klein and Mark Dytham, and their office Klein Dytham architecture has supported the movement and global network for the past 9 years, covering all costs for staff and web development. We are currently looking at different ways to keep the project sustainable and viable going forward as the network expands.

•     Can I use the PechaKucha 20x20 format at school or in the office?

    Yes, it is a great format for project reviews and presentations in the classroom or for internal meetings in offices. In these private situations, you are free to use the format. However, if you want to use the PechaKucha 20x20 name or format in the context of something that is open to the public or publicized, we ask that you get in touch for more details.

•     Is PechaKucha Night like TED?

    Many people have said, “Oh, so you're like a local TED!” This is a very nice compliment, but not quite right. TED is brilliant, but very different from PechaKucha. TED is top down, PechaKucha is bottom up! Deanne the hooper, Astrid’s husband, or Mark’s young son might have had a tough time getting into the presentation lineup at TED, but they had some wonderful stories to share at PechaKucha Night.

•     Was PechaKucha the first format like this?

    That's a good question. We have all heard of elevator pitches, a presentation so short you could pitch it to someone in an elevator. 20 seconds x 20 images is a bit longer than that, but the idea is the same: short, concise presentations. As far as we know, PechaKucha was the first to put a limit on the number of images and number of seconds -- and the all important auto-forward. There’s no “next slide” or “go back one, please” at PechaKucha Nights.

•     Is PechaKucha Night a social network?

    We believe there is nothing social about online social networks, so get out from behind your screen and get to a live event, with real people, real communication, real beer, and real creative fun. So in a sense, we are in fact a “real” social network.

DEVISED, SHARED & SUPPORTED by
KLEIN DYTHAM ARCHITECTURE
SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER

From: http://www.pechakucha.org/faq

What is Oath?

So Verizon owns AOL and now it bought Yahoo!

And now Verizon is selling it all to Apollo!

https://www.cnbc.com News

 

Verizon recently completed its $4.4 billion acquisition of Internet pioneer AOL. The deal comes 15 years after the company joined forces with Time Warner in 2000, which is widely considered one of the biggest business flops in U.S. corporate history.

According to Fortune, Verizon is a telecom giant.  It is at #15 on the Fortune 500.

Verizon has 108.6 billion mobile connections.

While AOL may be most known for its dial-up services and growing content empire —which includes The Huffington Post, Engadget and TechCrunch—it also has put together a sophisticated suite of advertising technologies for online and traditional media that no other company (aside from Google and Facebook) can match.

AOL’s platform is particularly strong in video advertising—which CommScore says reaches more than 50% of the U.S. population. The Internet company's successful digital platform will also coincidentally assist Verizon's plans to launch its own Internet TV service, which it announced this year after buying Intel’s media assets in 2014 and video delivery network EdgeCast in 2013.


 After Verizon scoops up Yahoo's Internet assets, what remains of Yahoo -- mostly investment holdings in Alibaba (BABA, Tech30) -- will be renamed Altaba. Mayer will step down from the board of that company once the sale is complete.

Yahoo as we know it may be done. But at least we'll always have Oath and Altaba. 

Alienation and Exclusion

     The campaign of 2016 was an education in the deep problems facing the country.  Angry voters made a few things abundantly clear: that modern democratic capitalism is not working for them; that basic institutions like the family and communities are falling apart; that we have a college educated elite that has found ingenious ways to make everybody else feel invisible, that has managed to transfer wealth upward to itself, that crashes the hammer of political correctness down on anybody who does not have faculty lounge views.
      Alienation breeds a hysterical public conversation.  Its public intellectuals are addicted to overstatement, sloppiness, pessimism, and despair.  They are self-indulgent and self-lionizing prophets of doom who use formulations like “the Flight 93 election” — who speak of every problem as if it were the apocalypse.  Alienation also breeds a zero-sum mind-set — it’s us or them — and with it a tribal clannishness and desire for exclusion.  As Levin notes, on the right alienation can foster a desire for purity — to exclude the foreign — and on the left it can foster a desire for conformity — to squelch differing speakers and faiths.
      But going forward we need a better establishment, one attuned to Trump voters, those whose alienation grows out of genuine suffering.   The first task for this better establishment is to not make the political chasm worse . As the impeachment investigation proceeds, it’ll be important for us Trump critics to not set our hair on fire every day, to evaluate the evidence as if it were against a president we ourselves voted for.  Would we really throw our own candidate out of office for this?
       Over the longer term, it will be necessary to fight alienation with participation, to reform and devolve the welfare state so that recipients are not treated like passive wards of the state, but take an active role in their own self-government.
       It’ll be necessary to revive a living elite patriotism.  That means conducting oneself in office as if nation is more important than party; not using executive orders, filibusters and the nuclear option to grab what you can while you happen to be in the majority.
       It means setting up weekly encounters to help you respect and understand the fellow Americans who reside across the social chasms.
       Finally, it’ll be necessary to fight alienation with moral realism, with a mature mind-set that says that, yes, people are always flawed, the country always faces problems, but that is no reason for lazy cynicism or self-righteous despair. If you start with an awareness of human foibles, then you can proceed with what Levin calls pessimistic hopefulness — grateful for the institutions our ancestors left us, and filled with cheerful confidence that they can be reformed to solve present needs.

From: https://www.nytimes.com/

Light Pollution

The Problems of Light Pollution -- Overview

Light pollution: Any adverse effect of artificial light including sky glow, glare, light trespass, light clutter, decreased visibility at night, and energy waste. Light pollution is not only a hinderance to astronomy, but it also impacts us directly.
Light pollution:
    is a risk factor for cancer to people
    is a disturbance to animals
    is a waste of energy, resources, and money
    is a security risk to your property
    and obscures our view of the wondrous night sky.

Urban sky glow - the brightening of the night sky over inhabited areas. It is the "glow" effect that can be seen over distant populated areas. This light that escapes up into the sky is created by the combination of all light reflected off of what is being illuminated, from all of the badly directed light in that area, and from that light that is scattered (redirected) by the atmosphere itself from reaching the ground. This scattering is very strongly related to the wavelength of the light when the air is very clear (with very little aerosols). Rayleigh scattering dominates in such clear air, making the sky appear blue in the daytime.
http://cescos.fau.edu/observatory/lightpol.html

Sci-fi books and movies

Carl Sagan, Contact (1985)

The film version of Carl Sagan’s science fiction novel, Contact (1997), seems to divide people into “love it” and “hate it” camps.  Personally, I love it: it’s elegant, has an imaginative story and, of course, stars Jodie Foster as Dr Eleanor Arroway, so I was looking forward to reading the novel on which it was based.
 From: https://purpleprosearchive.wordpress.com/2011/09/04/carl-sagan-contact-1985/


After all, the two authors who led me most strongly into my deep and abiding love of sci fi were Anne McCaffrey (and The Ship Who Sang) in particular, and everything by Ursula Le Guin.
Also:
Emma Bull. She writes both fantasy and science fiction, and is one of my favorite writers ever.
And just for fun, check out Shadow Unit. (Shadowunit.org). The website is an ongoing story by several writers-most female-and resembles a paranormal CSI. Emma Bull, Will Shetterly, Evizabeth Bear, Sarah Monette, Amanda Downum, and others.
From:  https://godardsletterboxes.wordpress.com/2011/05/22/100-sci-fi-women-63-dr-eleanor-arroway/

Sugar Snakes

Nice scientific explanation:

https://melscience.com/en/experiments/sugar-snake/

Revival Lyrics

REVIVAL
by ROBIN MARK
Copyright: 1998 DAYBREAK MUSIC LTD.
CD Title: REVIVAL IN BELFAST
Year: 1998
I hear the voice of one calling,
I hear the voice of one calling,
prepare ye, prepare ye the way of the Lord.

I hear the voice of one calling,
I hear the voice of one calling,
prepare ye, prepare ye the way of the Lord.

And make His paths straight, make His paths straight in the wilderness
And let your light shine, let your light shine in the darkness
And let your rain fall, let your rain fall in the desert.

I hear the voice of one calling,
I hear the voice of one calling,
prepare ye, prepare ye the way of the Lord.

Sure as gold is precious and the honey sweet,
so You love this city and you love these streets.
Ev'ry child out playing by its own front door,
ev'ry baby laying on the bedroom floor.

I feel it in my spirit, feel it in my bones,
You're gonna send revival, bring 'em all back home.
I can hear that thunder in the distance,
like a train on the edge of the town,
I can feel the brooding of Your Spirit,
lay your burdens down, lay your burdens down.

From the preacher preaching when the well is dry,
to the lost soul reaching for a higher high.
From the young man working through his hopes and fears
to the widow walking through the vale of tears.

Ev'ry man and woman ev'ry old and young,
ev'ry father's daughter, ev'ry mother's son.
I feel it in my spirit, feel it in my bones,
You're gonna send revival, bring 'em all back home.

Repeat chorus

Revive us, revive us, revive us with Your fire.
Revive us, revive us, revive us with Your fire.

Franklin Graham Fesitval, Bakersfield California

A piece of my history!
I sang in the choir at this festival.  It was the MOST incredible experience of my life!  EVER!!  I cried so hard it was difficult to sing!!!  Over 3,000 people responded to the altar call.
 The song we sang during the call was Revival by Robin Mark from the album Revival in Belfast!  Powerful, powerful song!!!  I will NEVER forget!!!!!!!!!!!!

During Spring Break at Bakersfield College the campus is usually deserted and quiet. But this past weekend, the college’s stadium was anything but hushed as nearly 60,000 people gathered for three days of music, fun, and truth at the Kern County Festival with Franklin Graham.

“I’ve never seen so much energy and unity in this community,” said local business leader and volunteer co-executive chairman of the Festival, Warren Carter. “This has been an amazing event for Bakersfield that brought hundreds of churches and thousands of members of the community together for one common purpose.”

The Festival which ran April 2-4 at Bakersfield College Stadium drew 59,365 people. The event featured nightly messages from Franklin Graham challenging the audience to put behind troubles in their past and allow God to lead their future.

“Many people think that religion will save them, or that if they can just sit in a pew long enough or own enough Bibles, that will save them, but it doesn’t work that way,” said Graham, president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. “It’s all about Who you know — and I’m talking about having a relationship with Jesus.”

During the event 3,491 people responded to Graham’s invitation to commit their lives to Jesus Christ.

Over the past year, more than 260 local churches and thousands of volunteers joined together, overcoming racial and denominational barriers to help organize the Festival.

In addition to Graham’s messages, the Festival featured a diverse collection of special guests, including: Award-winning musical artists Lee Greenwood, Jars of Clay, Joy Williams, Fernando Ortega, Dennis Agajanian, and The Tommy Coomes Band all delivered energetic and inspirational performances.
Bibleman — Saturday morning some 7,600 kids gathered to see the popular superhero Bibleman bring his fun action presentation of Biblical truth. Following the presentation, 1,120 children responded to the invitation to commit their lives to Christ.
Mayor of Bakersfield Harvey Hall greeted the audience and thanked Franklin Graham for bringing the Festival and a message of hope to the community.
1,600-voice choir comprised of volunteers from many area churches of varying denominations in the area performed during two nights of the Festival.Franklin Graham, 51, will hold his next Festival in Tijuana, Mexico June 10-12. In addition to his leadership role with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, Graham is president and CEO of international Christian relief organization Samaritan’s Purse.

EPIC

This morning when I was writing the wrong year on bad checks I realized something: it’s 2014. Do you realize what that means? Sure, we made it past Y2K and the end of the Mayan calendar, but will we make it past the year of Googlezon? Ten years ago some dudes (Robin Sloan and Matt Thompson) released a flash video (because this was in 2004 and people still made flash videos) called EPIC 2014. It was a video by the fictional “Museum of Media History” about how news and media would be consumed in the year 2014. It starts all doom and gloom with “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Their prediction? That Google would merge with Amazon to personalize news to individual users and that some how Friendster would still be relevant. Newspapers would be phased out and Googlezon would release EPIC (Evolving Personalized Information Construct) which would pay users to contribute any information they had to a central grid. Ha! People getting paid to post content on the internet. Now that’s hilarious!
 From:
 http://incrediblethings.com/web/10-years-ago-they-predicted-googlezon/

Original website:
 chrome://ietab2/content/reloaded.html?url=http://epic.makingithappen.co.uk/

Virtually Paint Your House

Paint Tester on the App Store - iTunes - Apple
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/paint-tester/id545366469?mt=8

Project Color™ by The Home Depot on the App Store - iTunes - Apple
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/project-color-by-home-depot/id1002417141?mt...

Try On Colors With Sherwin-Williams Digital Color Tools
www.sherwin-williams.com/homeowners/color/try-on-colors/
ColorSnap® Visualizer for iPad lets you explore over 1,500 colors, find color inspiration from a photo or virtually paint your walls. All for free on your iPad.

‎Paint Your Room Online with Personal Color Viewer - Benjamin Moore & Co.
www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/...your.../personal-color-view...

Virtual Painter - Valspar Paint
www.valsparpaint.com/en/explore-colors/painter
Connect to the power in color to see how different colors can affect your space. Before putting brush to

Holy Clothing

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A photo posted by HolyClothing (@holyclothingfan) on Jul 24, 2016 at 1:47pm PDT

I don't understand

Racist Blog
Community Anti-Racism Education
Derailment Bingo

I need to investigate further!

Never Forget!

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!!!
'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
 George Santayana

It's NOT just our national or world history, it's family, friends, and experiences.  We should never let go of our past, our heritage, our family, or our memories; both good and bad.  They are what makes us who we are today.  I would be a strange blank canvas if all I did and all I knew was erased.  Why ask me to erase parts of my life in favor of some psychological theory that I will be a BETTER person because I have forgotten things and thrown memories away????
  
Remember the Holocaust!
Remember the Alamo!
Never forget Virginia Tech!
American Genocide 1915 Never Again!
Operation Fever Forget our Fallen Hero's!
Never forget 9-11!

In the early 1930s Germany was a democracy and out of money. The Great Depression and restitution payments to France and England from WWI meant the government was out of money. The only way it could pay its bills was to print more money. But each time they printed that made the German mark worth less so they just printed more. Eventually it took a basket full of marks to buy a loaf of bread. With both depression and inflation running wild savings were worthless and unemployment soared. Even the richest industrialists began to suffer. Desperate for a savior, the Germans elected a strong leader who promised to change everything... Adolf Hitler. 

President Herbert Hoover had been a successful engineer and Republican. He personally helped thousands of Americans to escape Europe when WWI broke out. Hoover believed in business, not government, so when the stock market crashed in 1929 he felt that it was not the government's job to restore the economy. His government did little and the result of that was The Great Depression. The opinion of the millions of unemployed and homeless gathered in shanty towns made of clap board and primitive tents of this was obvious. They called their settlements "Hoovervilles". Promising to do Something, Franklin Roosevelt swept the 1932 Presidential election.

FDR was winning the economic battle. From 1933 to 1937 unemployment fell from 25% to 14%. Feeling the nation had permanently turned the corner on Depression, the up for election Congress in 1936 voted a popular bonus to veterans (over FDR's veto) and the Federal Reserve stopped giving a priority to boosting growth. Then in 1937 that era's stimulus program expired, raising taxes on all businesses and investment. It also seemed like a good time to implement an expensive, new social program. So they began gathering Social Security taxes, lowering everyone's paycheck. Within a year the "Depression with the Depression" had begun with unemployment rising to 19% and the economy again shrinking. Only WWII reversed the downward trend.

Also: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/holocaust-memorial-day-2016-10-reasons-its-essential-we-never-forget-this-uniquely-evil-event-1540238

I don't believe in forgiveness!

What I see are people trying desperately to feel better, in the aftermath of terrible wrongs, of unfair treatment, of unearned slights, and horrific tragedy. I see people not doing ANYTHING to right these wrongs, to protest these slights, to heal these tragedies. Except, of course, to parrot, “forgiveness” that everyone around seems so comfortable with.

I hold people accountable. I work for justice in my own little corner of the world. If someone hurts me on purpose, I am angry. And, I stay that way.
Guess what? It doesn’t control my life.

I am not angry every day (after all, they are no longer in my life!). Although, I am angry when I think of the occasion or the person(s). I believe that this keeps me of slipping into relationships and behaviors not appropriate for someone with a healthy self-image. I don’t “rot”.

It’s not easy. Everyone else likes it when you “forgive”. But if you want me to “forgive” for myself, well, I’ll pass. I am fine how I am – and this is real smile on my face.

FROM: http://thoughtcatalog.com/robin-goode/2014/04/i-dont-believe-in-forgiveness-and-neither-should-you/

 Frankly, though,  the ‘forgetting’ part is sort of throw-away.  You should never forget  the wrongs done to you.    Why would you want to?  Forgiving, though, is another thing entirely.  When somebody wrongs us, negative emotions can eat away at us.  If we let go of our anger and resentment, we experience healing and reconciliation.

One could, I suppose, think that there are times and situations when forgiveness just isn’t called for.  Suppose somebody does some terrible wrong to me and is totally unrepentant.  It’s not at all clear that I should forgive them.

On the other hand,  you could think that when you forgive, you shouldn’t do it for the  sake of the wrong-doer.   Rather, you should do it for your own sake,  for the sake of your own mental health.

Of course, letting go of one’s anger and moving on won’t do you any good if the person is just going to turn around and do it again.  And you could think that unless the person does something to really deserve forgiveness,  you’d  be a fool to forgive.

Even if you think forgiveness is all about what’s best for the forgiver and not at all about the forgiven,  you can still think that there are times when one shouldn’t forgive -- without assuming the wrong-doer can ever deserve forgiveness.  Forgiving a foreseeably repeat offender is a case in point.   At least part of me thinks that there is  nothing a person can do to “deserve”  forgiveness.  Forgiveness is always gift.  It has to be freely given.   We’re never morally required to forgive.

But the following thought still gives me pause.  Imagine a person who is fully repentant for a wrong done.  They’ve resolved never do it again.  They’ve done everything possible to  make up for their  transgression.  Why wouldn’t you forgive such a person?

My imagined resister to this line also thinks not. He will dig in his heels here and insist that while being unable to forgive might be some kind of psychological failing, it’s not a moral failing. He will grant that getting to the point of forgiveness can be really hard, even when you think it would be a good thing to do.   If you can’t get there on your own, then maybe you need the help of a therapist.    But the crucial point for him is that we don’t blame people who can’t forgive, we console them.


FROM: http://philosophytalk.org/community/blog/ken-taylor/2015/04/forgive-and-forget

I'm tired of people telling me to "let it go"!

What is the big deal?  Why should I forget?  Why should I forgive? Why should I throw stuff away?  Why should I give it all away and buy "new" stuff when I need it when the new stuff is garbage and my stuff and my grandmother's stuff is still working?  I can never replace my cast iron waffle iron or my grandmother's blender.  I can never replace the dolls and camera's that belonged to my family.  My husband can never replace the Volkswagen motor he has.  We can't replace the old Time, Look, and Life magazines from the 1950's.  You can't replace the movie tickets, travel brochures, or postcards from trips gone by.  You might say "take a picture" but then that's another organization nightmare.

From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201410/when-you-should-and-should-not-forgive
For all that we culturally admire the ability to forgive—it’s associated with magnanimity, spiritual growth, and, of course, religiosity—it remains a somewhat thorny issue from a psychological point of view. In layman’s terms, the ability to forgive is widely seen as evidence of how high humans rank in the chain of being—animals don’t forgive, after all—so it conveys a moral superiority. But from a psychological point of view, two key questions remain: Why do humans forgive and, when they do, how do they hope to benefit?

As Frank Fincham wrote in an article with arguably the best image and title ever—“The Kiss of the Porcupines”—the human conundrum is that we need and want closeness and intimacy, but that need simultaneously leaves us vulnerable to being hurt, disappointed, and even betrayed by those closest to us. If it weren’t for "the quill problem"—in Fincham’s metaphor, two porcupines cuddle to stay warm, getting closer and closer, until a quill pierces skin and they have to withdraw—there’d be no need for forgiveness.

It’s all sobering, and true. And while it’s nice to echo the words of Alexander Pope—“To err is human; to forgive, divine”—it may not be universally applicable. You can’t reap the fruits of forgiveness alone; you need the cooperation, loyalty, and intent of the porcupine who stabbed you in the first place.  On the other hand, forgiving someone whom you’re showing the door will most probably set you free.

From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/disturbed/201208/why-you-dont-always-have-forgive
With time, you come to realize that you are moving forward, and it is usually at this point that someone will ask about forgiveness. At some point in your grieving process, someone, somewhere, will ask you if you forgive. Do you forgive your father or mother? Could you forgive your spouse? Many religions and therapies focus on forgiving a perpetrator so that the victim can ‘move on.’ The goal is to make sure that the victim does not become fixated on the hurt. This element is critical because if you become completely obsessed with your victimization, you will not be able to function. That is a fact. Fixating freezes you.

It may be surprising to learn how many people will pressure survivors to forgive a perpetrator.  Family members tell them that if they don’t forgive, then they are going to Hell. In some cases, I’ve seen families turn their backs on victims of sexual abuse because the victims wouldn’t go along with the program and keep their mouths shut. They are told to forgive their attackers and let it go. If they cannot do so, then they are banished from the family unit. I’ve also seen women who stand up to their abusive lovers only to be eventually cut off by their children because they won’t simply forgive and let bygones be bygones.  When they say they forgave and are moving on, they are accused of dredging up the past should they speak out, so back to isolation they go.

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